A case plan written by Alison Scott, a Child Welfare Intake Worker for Alberta Family and Social Services was written and dated for November 13, 1986. This report is divided into several parts and is rather long so I am going to take one part at a time, in the order in which it is written.
Identifying Information
This part just has basic contact details including address, phone number, date of birth, race, religion and education questions.
I am/was
Name: Ko-Leen Stranden
D.O.B: June 7, 1981
Address: same as above
Telephone: same as above
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Unknown
Education: Kindergarten (G.H. Dawe Community Center)
My mom named me Ko-Leen – is a long story, and my last name was Edwards but she started registering me as Ko-Leen Stranden. I suspect that the main reason for the last name change was to collect child support from my sisters dad. Anyways, being registered with 2 different last names all over the place has caused me problems. Like when my heath care was under Stranden but my taxes were under Edwards. Then getting married I had 2 different sets of identification but luckily with marriage I had the chance to change my name again and take my new husbands last name. Then I was Ko-Leen Berman. Confusing, I know.
Family Map
Here is a strange picture with boxes and circles. This is me:
I was always trying to help with everything. I felt it was my responsibility and that I was needed. I think I needed to feel like I was helpful and necessary. I still feel that way now, only not with my mother.
Information from Collateral Sources
Central Alberta Women’s Emergency Shelter
Family Development
“The current stage of this family life cycle is that of “families with preschoolers” . With respect to this stage , there is evidence of a deficit in the achievement of the primary developmental task of “socialization of children” as there are inconsistencies in the provision of maternal, verbal interaction and parental, physical-playful stimulation. Likewise, it is apparent that there are deficits in the achievement of several primary developmental tasks of the previous stages of the family life cycle”
We arrived at the shelter on September 6, 1986 after moving from Regina, Saskatchewan.
I remember the drive to Red Deer. In the car in the middle of the night, I was being very helpful with the map using the light from the glove compartment. I remember it being a tense situation. We were told we were moving and everything would be better. We had left all our stuff behind but my mom assured us that it was coming. At the shelter I remember the metal framed beds and my mom explaining to someone that our stuff had been sent to Calgary. The stuff never came, I think it was all just left behind.
The staff at the shelter reported to child services on their observations of emotional neglect. We were ignored for long periods of time and left at the shelter while my mother went out. It is noted that we would become “almost hysterical” when we could not find her.
“There is evidence of sibling rivalry between the sisters for their mother’s attention.”
This rivalry was encouraged. We were encouraged to be bad to each other. For example on my birthday, when I was 5 or 6, my mom said that since it was my birthday we could make my sister stand in the corner. Yes, we could torment each other on our birthdays. As a present. I am sorry.
Emotional Functioning
“Ko-Leen presents as withdrawn and somewhat clingy. She responds appropriately to gestures of praise. Her attention span is age appropriate and she demonstrates the ability to complete a task or activity.”
Family Structure
Apparently my biological father abandoned my mother when she was pregnant with me. I will have to remember to get into the story of that guy a little later.
Subsystem/Boundry
“There are unclear generational boundaries and diffuse subsystem boundaries. Ko-Leen presents as parentified and behaves like a parent to her younger brother”
My baby brother. Tye 1985 – 2012.
Social class and mobility
“This family belongs to the lower-lower social class”
I admit I had to laugh at this part – like it was not enough to say “lower” once, they had to say it twice to emphasize a new level of trashiness.
“Within the past 5 years Sherry and her children have moved several times within the province of Saskatchewan. They have resided in urban settings such as Saskatoon and Regina as well as rural settings.”
We moved a lot. I can not stress that enough.
Family Development
“The current stage of this family life cycle is that of “families with preschoolers” . With respect to this stage , there is evidence of a deficit in the achievement of the primary developmental task of “socialization of children” as there are inconsistencies in the provision of maternal, verbal interaction and parental, physical-playful stimulation. Likewise, it is apparent that there are deficits in the achievement of several primary developmental tasks of the previous stages of the family life cycle”
“A pattern of maladaptive attachments characterize the parent child and sibling relationships. ”
“there is competitive negative attachment between Ko-Leen and Shantell and Ko-Leen is over involved with her brother”
My mom blamed everything on my sister and I went along with it. I know that I can not really blame myself, I was only 5, but it still haunts me. She is my sister and I let her be scapegoated for everything that went wrong – and that was wrong.
Family Functioning
“The members of this family exhibit an over-responsiveness to such emergency emotions as rejection, anxiety and anger. In this family it is permissible for the parent to express anger therefor feelings of anger have manifested themselves in self abusive, aggressive and destructive behaviors. ”
“The verbal communication in this family is indirect or masked.”
“Nonverbal and para-verbal messages are communicated by members of this family when they are experiencing such emergency emotions as rejection, anxiety, and anger. These messages include the following: lowered head, lack of eye contact, lack of affect, stern and/or increased tonality. “
The above statements are within the very definition of an emotionally abusive parent. The effects of which last a lifetime
Problem-Solving
“This family experiences difficulty in differentiating between emotional and instrumental problems. Emotional problems are frequently identified as instrumental problems. There is no evidence of systematic problem solving.”
I think this means that when we were acting out due to emotional problems it was blamed on us needing a nap. But I am not sure.
Roles
“There is evidence of deficits in the achievement of the following necessary family functions: (i) provision of nurture and support (ii) personal achievement and basic life skills development and (iii)management and maintenance of the family system in particular in the role of leader and decision maker. Idiosyncratic roles exist within the family.”
Control
“Instrumental, psychological, and corporal controls are administered with an over emphasis on material reinforces, criticism and guilt induction. There is a pattern of parental inconsistencies and a deficit of parenting knowledge and skills development.”
That means she made us feel bad, guilty and hit us. It is actually the being made to feel guilty that has had the longest effect on me.
Beliefs
“Conditional acceptance is typical within this family when a member does not adhere to family expectations.”
I’ll only love you if…….
Alliances/Coalitions
“Ko-Leen appears to be aliened with her mother in scapegoating Shantell. “
I am forever sorry.
Diagnostic Statement
“This is a dysfunctional single parent family which is characterized by a pattern of family violence and a series of relationship losses. The generational boundaries are unclear and likewise the subsystem boundaries diffuse………………….”
The statement above continued and summarized the entire report, but I just can not do any more. This post has take three days, and I hardly added any content.
My name was never Katie 